anxiety

I woke up this morning and realized, everythings not going like i want. It's just going not supposed to be. And i realized im such a clown. I can't do anything except smiling. Stupid. Oh how it could be like this. Im not finished my study. Can I finish it? just kinda sad i always messed up my life. so stress out. can i do it right? so i dont make a mistake anymore. i just dont know what i have to do. 

please stay

I always imagine life together with someone i loved, but the fact is no one want to stay with me for a long time. At the end their always leave me. And just me, yeah, me and myself. No one will stay, eventho i always give my life for him. I wish someday i could have someone who’s stay with me and loved me more than i loved him. I hope so. Would you mind to stay with me please?;’) dont leave me. I loved you. So much. I dont wanna lose you. Its tired to pass all this shit again and again.